Hopeless Love
by ABreathOfSunshine
Summary: “You know what they never told me about you?” I asked him. His eyes kept closed, but he forced out a grunt of acknowledgement. “That you would give me so many butterflies in my stomach.”
1. The Field

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters 

Okay, this is my first Twilight fiction so don't expect it to be spectacular. The first half of the chapter was based on a dream I had. So I hope you enjoy it, and please tell me truthfully if its good or not. Thanks to my bff Jessica for helping me with ideas 

UPDATE:I updated some of this chapter along with most of Chapter 2. Nothing major here, just a few grammar changes.

Chapter One-The Field 

I lay beside Edward in the middle of a field filled with honeysuckles and grass. My right hand rested on his right hip as he ran his cold hand trough my hair. I felt most comfortable around him at times like these, where we don't even have to speak. On the other side of the field, I could see Alice and Jasper throwing a brown football back and forth. Earlier, Edward had tried to teach me how to throw a football properly, but I had no co-ordination at all. Every time I tried to throw the ball his way, I would end up twisting my arm the opposite way I was aiming, and throw my balance off only to fall.

I looked at his astonishing gleaming skin, amazed of his immaculate exquisiteness. His eyes were closed, but I knew he wasn't sleeping, only resting his eyes from the luminous sun. "You know what they never told me about you?" I asked him. His eyes kept closed, but he forced out a grunt of acknowledgement. "That you would give me so many butterflies in my stomach."

At this he opened his eyes and looked into mine. "You are so funny, Bella." A slight blush of pink crept over my pale face, making him smile. He placed his free hand on top of my stomach, and my heart began to beat faster. "Take a deep breath and release those butterflies." I did as he said, and almost immediately felt my stomach settle itself. I took my hand from my side and placed it atop his.

"I love you." He stated to me. I nodded, as he waited for an answer. "I know." I told him.

"Oh, so you think you don't have to say it back?" He questioned me.

"Of course, why say it when it would be a lie." At first, his eyes widened in disbelief, then a look of hurt washed the previous one away. I smiled, indicating I was only joking, then his face showed a look of mischievousness. In one swift movement, he positioned himself over top of me and began to tickle my sides.

My laughs and protests spilled into the silent field. I Yelled, kicked and screamed trying to get him off of me, but his astounding strength held me down. "I won't stop until you admit you love me."

"Fine! I love you! Now stop before I pee my pants." When the last words left my mouth, he stopped the tickling.

" I knew you loved me." I lifted my hand and stroked his jaw, admiring his beautiful face. Slowly and gently, he lowered his face towards my exposed collarbone and placed a gentle kiss on it. The one small kiss sent a wave of shivers up my spine and down my legs to my toes.

"Did you ever doubt it?" My voice came out serious.

"Never."

"Never?" I confirmed.

"Not since the day I met you." My blush creped through my cheeks once again. I placed a soft kiss on his glimmering lips.

"Let's go." He stood up, reaching out to me to help me to my feet. I was astounded once again of his splendour, and was frozen in one spot.

"What will I ever have to do with you, silly silly Bella." Slowly, I stood up, trying not to ruin this moment with my clumsiness. Once I was standing, his hand reached for mine, and we walked hand in hand to his silver Volvo. I sunk into the inviting seat, exhausted from our long day of physical activity. Edward sat in the drivers seat next to me, and I was disappointed that his skin was no longer glowing. The car roared to life, and music floated from the speakers. I felt Edward grab my hand a place a soft kiss on it as we began to drive. I turned and smiled at him.

The car pulled into the driveway of my house, and I stepped out. Edward was quickly at my side. "I'll see you tonight." I nodded, already knowing this. He leaned down, filling the gap between our faces and placed and kiss on my lips. Although it only lasted a few quick seconds, I felt blissful. I walked away no, walk is and understatement, I floated into my house, never tripping or falling. I heard Edward laughing behind me, obvious of what his kiss had done to me.

Once I was inside, I walked into the kitchen to figure out what to make for dinner. I really did not feel like fish, so I looked deeper in the freezer. Way in the back, I found some frozen chicken I had bought last week. I laid it on the counter to thaw, and grabbed some potatoes and asparagus out of the fridge.

After cooking for an hour or so, Charlie came home. I placed the meal in front of our usual chairs.

"How was you day, Bella?" I swallowed the bite of potato I was eating. "It was great, I went and played football with Edward and his family." He nodded and continued eating.

"And um, tonight Edward was hoping I could go to his house." Charlie stopped eating and looked up at me.

"Bells, I don't know if that's a good idea, I mean I trust him but He's just like any other hormone driven teenage boy." I almost choked on a piece of asparagus. If only you knew Charlie, if only you knew.

"Dad, you have to trust me and Edward."

"Okay Bella. I guess it's all right. Just be careful." I felt immense sympathy towards Charlie. I was his only child and I'm growing up. I grabbed the two empty dinner plates and placed them in the warm bubbly water.

"Don't worry about the dishes Bells, I'll do them tonight." I smiled at him, wanting so bad to go over to him, give him a big hug and tell him everything's all right, and I'm not leaving him. But I knew that it was just awkward contact.

I ran up the stairs to grab a jacket from my room. When I opened the door, I nearly had a heart attack. Sitting on my bed, holding my jacket was Edward.

I clutched my shirt above my heart. "You always do that."

He walked towards me, placing a hand on my chest, where my hand had previously been.

"I'm sorry." He said, and placed a kiss on my forehead. "I'll be waiting for you outside." I smiled as he placed my jacket in my hands.

I bounded down the steps in big strides, still managing to keep my balance. As promised, Edward was outside, standing by the open door of his Volvo. "Nice to see you again, Miss. Swan" He said, and kissed my cheek.

"Likewise, Mr. Cullen." I slid into the soft seat, and Edward closed the door for me. Who ever said chivalry was dead? We drove down the road at an alarming speed. My head rested on the cold glass of the window, watching as the white dotted lines along the road flashed by. Sensing something was wrong, Edward placed his hand on my knee.

"What's on your mind?" I sighed, not wanting to tell him.

"Nothing." He looked at me, knowing that I was lying.

"I'm always honest with you Bella, please be honest with me, I just care for you and I want to know how you're feeling." I rubbed my temple with my fingers, knowing that I should tell him but still not wanting to.

"Fine. You want to know what I'm thinking. I'm thinking about how you left me for two weeks, not telling me where you went, who you were with and what you were doing. I'm not a mind reader like you are. I'm still mad about it. I just didn't want to bring it up, cause I knew you'd blow up on me." I felt his hand leave my knee, and place it on the steering wheel. I saw the speed go up to 120 on the speedometer.

3 weeks ago, Edward and I had gotten in a fight, over what I forget, but he had gotten mad and left for two weeks. He didn't tell me where he went, nor did he tell his family.

I was heart broken, lost and confused. When he came back last week, I was too excited to see him that I didn't question him at all. But today brought it all back.

We pulled up in front of his house, and as soon as the car had stopped, I got out. I was to full of emotions, sadness, anger and hurt. Why didn't he answer me? Did he have something to hide? I didn't know.

My legs took me up the stairs as fast as they could. I contemplated on what room to lock myself in. Definitely not Edwards, nor Rosalie's, and if I went in Alice's and Jasper's, she would certainly question me, and Jasper would try to calm me.

I settled on the bathroom. I slammed the door so everyone would know I was angry, to get my point across to Edward. I locked the door, and leaned against it. That's when the tears finally came. I slid down the door until I was sitting at the base of it. There, I curled me legs up to my chest, and I wrapped my arms around my legs. With my head in my lap, the tears fell. I kept crying until the tears became sobs.


	2. Mouth Shut

Changed a bunch of stuff in this chapter, added some more. I believe it is better. Chapter Two-Mouth Shut 

"What did you do to her!" Alice's voice boomed through the house.

"I don't know!" Edwards voice boomed back at equal volume. I looked around the small room, my vision blurred by tears. I forced my body to pick itself up from the ground, and walk to the sink.

In the mirror above the sink, I saw a reflection of a miserable girl. Her hair messed up and her eyes drenched with tears. I ran the cold water, and splashed my face. The cool water refreshed my face, relieving my sore eyes and raw cheeks.

I raised both my hands to the sides of my temples and massaged them, trying to rid myself of my massive headache. I heard a loud pounding, and thought it was just my head, but my ears finally heard the voice coming from the other side of the door.

"Bella sweetheart, please open up." Edwards's melodic voice echoed in the bathroom. Hearing his voice brought more painful tears to my eyes. "Open the door. We need to talk."

"I tried to talk earlier, Edward, but you didn't seem too interested." I snapped. I heard him quietly sigh.

"Are you crying, Bella?"

"No" I tried to choke back a sob, but I didn't succeed.

"Oh, Bella." I walked over to the door, and cracked it open a sliver. He outstretched his arm, and slowly stroked my cheek. His touch made me melt inside, and I wanted so bad to forgive him right there but I knew I couldn't.

"Can we talk about this now." I could hear a hint of annoyance in his voice. Not wanting to make him angry at my words, I just nodded. He led me into his bedroom where he motioned for me to sit on a brown leather couch. He sat opposite of me in a black desk chair.

"What is it you want to know Bella?" I nervously rubbed my hands together, trying to gather all of the never stopping thoughts in my head. What should I ask him first?

"Where were you?" He rested his head in his hands.

"I was in Spokane." Okay, so he didn't leave to country. That was a plus, I guess.

"Were you with anyone?" He immediately shook his head 'no'. So it wasn't as bad as I thought. I took in a deep breath, preparing myself for this last question. I knew he would get angry. I was scared he would snap and hurt something….or someone. "What did you do that you won't tell me?"

He sobbed, and I knew that if he could cry he would.

"Bella, you aren't going to like this. Please don't get angry with me. I love you with everything I have." I didn't like this.

"I was walking around town, and I smelt this smell. It hit me so hard, and I knew immediately it was blood." Okay, so he smelt blood. He's a vampire, that's natural. He sighed again, and ran his hand through his hair.

"I followed the smell, against my instincts. I found myself almost stalking this girl. Her blood smelt better than yours, Bella. So much more irresistible." For reasons unknown to me, anger and jealousy crept through my veins. I was able to put these feelings aside and let him finish.

"I watched her as she entered a few shops, and finally walking towards a secluded area. I just couldn't resist anymore, and my animal instincts took over. I lunged at her, killing the poor girl." I began to cry and I had no clue why. Was I jealous that he liked her blood better? Was I not good enough for him? I didn't understand! I wanted to scream out of frustration, cry out of sadness for the girl, and kill Edward out of anger.

"You…" I said, pointing a finger in Edward's direction. I struggled to get my words out and when they did they were shaking, uneasy. "You stay away from me." I backed up towards the door, trying to make a quick exit.

"Bella, don't do this."

"I will do what I want, Edward." My unpleasant words caused him some discomfort. I opened the door, and made my way out and down the stairs. I could hear my name being called by Edward as I left the house. Once I got outside I realized that I hadn't brought my truck. I mentally kicked myself for believing I did, and for ruining my plan.

My footsteps sped up as I heard him following my track. I folded my arms over my chest as the cold air hit me, and I realized I forgot my jacket in Edward's car.

"Bella, stop." I ignored his voice, and kept walking. "Will you just stop?" I stopped after hearing the desperation in his voice. I turned my body around to look at him. Slowly, he walked towards me, acting as if I was an animal about to run away. When he had closed the large gap between us, he grabbed my folded arms. His touch sent shock waves through my body. My arms fell to my side, and he grabbed my wrists, trying to hold me back from running away.

His grip began to tighten around my wrists, cutting off my circulation.

"Let go, Edward. You're hurting me." He heard my words, but they seemed not to register in his mind. "Edward!" I yelled as loud as I could through my sobs. I looked into his eyes and saw anger in them. They were not the regular topaz colour, but they were slowly turning black.

He finally realized what he was doing and let go of my wrists. "Bella, I'm…"

I cut him off before he could finish. "Yes, I know you're sorry Edward. But I'm still mad." He looked at me quizzically.

"I told you what you wanted to hear, why are you still mad?" I didn't even know why I was mad.

"I honestly don't know. All I know is I feel anger. Maybe I'm jealous that you liked her blood better than mine." I stifled back yet another sob.

"Listen to me, okay. Really listen." I nodded at his request. Edward took my head in his hands, stroking my jaw line. "Yes, her blood was more irresistible, but I love you. You have my whole heart. You are my life, my one and only love." My eyes began to well up with tears again but this time they were out of happiness.

"I love you too" I took my hands from my sides, and put them on top of his that still held my face. He leaned forward and kissed me gently. My knees went wobbly and I tried my best to stay standing. All of my fears and worries were released. I felt completely at ease with Edward once again.

"Let's get you home." I nodded and we began to walk back to his house.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I entered my bedroom, emotionally drained. I fell on to my bed, letting out a long sigh as I hit the soft mattress. Then I realized I was still in my clothes from that day. I grabbed my pyjamas and ran into the bathroom. The long shower relaxed my worn out muscles.

After my shower, I changed into my nightclothes and brushed my teeth. When I got back into my room, I saw Edward lying on my bed, his arms behind his head and his eyes closed. I took off at a fast speed and jumped on top of him, straddling his stomach. As I landed, his eyes popped open. I leaned down towards his face and kissed his cold lips. I parted form our kiss, and stared at him, wondering how I could ever be angry at this magnificent creature.

His eyes shone of a bright topaz colour and his hair, so perfectly messy, bronze like a penny.

"You're beautiful." I told him. He looked surprised at my sudden comment.

"This is so wrong." I moved so I was lying beside him. He ran his hand through my hair.

"But yet, I feel as if this is how it was supposed to be. Sometimes I feel like we should have never gone this far, but then I contradict myself by thinking that we belong like this. Maybe not forever, but for now. In this moment, right now, it feels oddly right."

I stared into his eyes as he spoke. His every word mesmerized me. The way he spoke left me in awe, wanting him to continue with his amazing words.

"Never in my life, or death for that matter, have I felt this way. It's as if I am living a whole new life as a different person. And if this is what it takes just to lye with my mistakes and live with what I did to you, all the hell I put you through then I will do it. I will stay with you as long as I can, living every memorable moment with you. I have never felt so much alive in my immortal life. And there was hope in me that I could take you there. But damn it, you're so young. I would never dream of taking your amazing life away from you."

As I looked in his eyes I saw frustration. He was frustrated with himself for having such thoughts. We had talked about me changing, and his answer was always the same. No. I hated to see how much emotional pain it put him through to think of me becoming a vampire. He loved by blush, how I ate and everything that made me, well, human.

"Edward, I love you." I grabbed his face with my hands. "Don't you ever forget that. No matter how much I pressure you into changing me, I know you are not ready for it. No matter what, I will love you." As the final words slipped from my lips, he kissed me with more passion than ever before. It was as if what I had said had verified our relationship. I felt all of his tension release into the kiss, making me feel breathless.

We finally separated, and I finally caught my breath. Edward moved his face closer to mind, stopping as his lips were over my ear, and he whispered. "You are amazing." Heat flew to my cheeks. I was so embarrassed. He ran his lips in small kisses from my cheek down to my jaw. "I love you." He told me. I nodded, and finally felt exhaustion set in.

"Go to sleep Bella." And I didn't have to respond, I just drifted to sleep.


End file.
